When Culture Turns Violent: The Persistent Horror of Bride Kidnapping

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Rupika Goundla
Research Intern, Jindal Centre for the Global South,
O.P. Jindal Global University, India

                          “I then planned to thwala her. I colluded with her friend to lure her out of the house to the local shop, giving me an opportunity to thwala her. I was accompanied by other men, who were my friends. Despite her protests, we managed to take her away. Upon arrival at the house, everything had been prepared. An incision was made on her body, and love charms were administered to compel her to love me and prevent her from running away. I made her wear a black leather skirt, even though she refused.” (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013)

Girls as young as twelve are abducted by total strangers and forced into marriage under the guise of tradition. This practice of forcible marriage through kidnapping is known as ‘bride abduction’ and occurs in various countries, including South Africa, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, and Ethiopia. The custom is locally referred to by different names, such as ukuthwala in South Africa or ala kachuu in Kyrgyzstan, which literally means ‘to be carried away’(UN News, 2020). Although the practice of ukuthwala is often assumed to have disappeared in the face of social change, it continues to be vigorously practised in some deeply rural Zulu communities in KwaZulu-Natal, as well as among rural Xhosa and Mpondo communities in the Eastern Cape, and possibly in other regions as well (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013).

The notions of ‘old tradition’ and ‘custom’ have reinforced patriarchal structures by further entrenching idealised gender roles (Handrahan, 2004). Concepts such as shame and honour have acted as catalysts, allowing this practice to persist in the modern era. Bride kidnapping carries consequences that extend beyond gender inequality; it also contributes to intensified labour migration, as women often perceive moving to other countries as one of the few viable means of escaping the risk of being subjected to this coercive tradition. This discussion, therefore, addresses the prevalence of bride kidnapping and how it has become a mechanism for delineating socially sanctioned gendered behaviour in contemporary society.

What happens in ‘bride kidnapping’?

Typically, the abductor, along with his peers, identifies a woman to be abducted, devises a plan, and waits until she is alone. Once she is isolated, they forcibly carry her to the abductor’s house (despite her protests). At the house, the groom’s female relatives persistently coerce her into marrying him (Lundberg, 2021) . According to Zulu tradition, the abducted woman is made to wear a black skirt (signifying her acceptance), whereas in Kyrgyzstan, a white scarf is tied around the woman’s head (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013).  A proposition exists among the practicing community and even scholars that, bride kidnapping stems from a tradition existing from pre-soviet regime. This belief of bride kidnapping as a pre-soviet tradition has resulted in classification of bride kidnapping as non-consensual and consensual bride kidnapping. Though, it can be considered as illegal from start to end based on the well-accepted definition of ‘abduction’ among international community, as Seleoane also argues. Abduction is defined as ‘to take away illegally using force or deception’ (Hlophe, 2021).  This means that even in case of consensual kidnapping where the girl has consented to be abducted, the girl has to be still forcibly taken away rendering it illegal from the very beginning.  In contrast, bride abduction constitutes an abuse of this custom (is criminal and illegal), whereas the traditional practice of ukuthwala (traditional bridal abduction) is not (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013).

In traditional Zulu ukuthwala, when a woman is abducted, the bride’s family is informed that their daughter has been taken, which initiates the marriage negotiation process. During this process, the prospective groom’s family makes a payment of lobola if the woman agrees to accept him as her husband. However, if she resists, the negotiation fails, and she is returned to her family (Hlophe, 2021). Nowadays, this custom is often practiced without the woman’s consent, and she may be physically or psychologically coerced into marrying her abductor, sometimes through forced sexual intercourse (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013).

The most significant distinction between traditional ukuthwala (traditional bridal abduction) and the abuse of the custom (bride abduction) lies in the manner in which these practices are carried out. In traditional ukuthwala, the woman is not beaten, whereas in bride abduction, there is a gross violation of women’s rights, including physical assault (Lundberg, 2021) . It is this particular misuse of the tradition that renders the practice condemnable. While many argue that the tradition itself is not illegal, the manner in which it is misused by young men constitutes criminal behavior. Historically, the woman’s choice was respected, and many women reportedly viewed the practice favorably, as it enabled them to marry partners of their choosing in situations where they lacked the approval of their elders (Nkosi & Buthelezi, 2013).

The failure to consider women’s consent is particularly problematic within the cultural context of shame and family honor. A woman’s acceptance or rejection of her abductor is closely linked to her reputation in society (Werner, 2018). Whether the marriage is consensual or not, the act of abduction itself is considered damaging to the family’s honor. Once kidnapped, her reputation within the community changes irrevocably; she is presumed to have been sexually violated and may no longer command a significant bride price, if any (Werner, 2009).

Though many believe that it is wrong for a man to abduct a woman without her consent also believe that it is wrong for an abducted woman to reject the marriage (Handrahan, 2004). The reason for such paradoxical views is because of the above stated association between female sexuality and family honour, reputation. It is believed to be bad luck and shameful for an abducted bride to return to her home ( “Kyrgyzstan: New rape”, 2018). When a woman is forcibly abducted, these cultural beliefs are invoked to exert pressure on her to accept the marriage. Women are therefore compelled by the twin forces of shame and honor to provide consent against their will in order to protect their own reputation and that of their family (Lundberg, 2021).

This distortion of what is fundamentally a tradition becomes shielded under the guise of custom. It is challenging to question such misuse, as it is often defended on the grounds of preserving cultural practices. As Human Rights Watch notes, “A consequence of regarding bride kidnapping as a tradition is that it becomes part of the unwritten social charter and is deemed above criticism” (Human Rights Watch, 2006). In other words, activists opposing non-consensual abduction are likely to have a stronger case if they can demonstrate that the practice is a recent development, or a newly manifested version of an older tradition (Werner, 2009).

Cultural Context of Bride Kidnapping

Bride abduction is legitimatized as socially accepted norm under the guise of culture, rather than viewing it as violation of women rights. As witnessed, women are mandated to follow such repressive practice by virtue of its consideration as tradition. In Kazakhstan, many don’t view non-consensual bride kidnapping as their ‘traditional form’ of marriage. Whereas, in Kyrgyzstan, a strong public notion exists that bride kidnapping is a national tradition (Kleinbach, 2007).

 However, this can be asserted as a fallacy in belief based on the historical development of Kyrgyzstan.

Kyrgyzstan was formally ruled by the Soviet union. In pre-Soviet regime, the recognized form of marriage was one arranged by the parents of bride and groom who conducted the negotiations of the marriage process and decide kalym without consideration of couple’s consent (Kleinbach, 2007).  Traditionally, this form of marriage was predominantly practiced and accepted under Kyrgyz customary law of adat and Islamic law. During Soviet regime, a significant change took place with the authorities bringing legal prohibitions against all forms of non-consensual marriage including arranged marriages and kidnapping. This became a hindrance for Kyrgyz people to engage in socially sanctioned practice of arranged marriages.

After Soviet regime, Kyrgyzstan’s society started to go through a process of ‘re-traditionalization’, as some scholars term it. The people began to rewrite national traditions and reinstate Islamic values as ‘guiding ethic for society’(Werner, 2009). In order revive the society from principles of Soviet regime, practice such as bride kidnapped were imposed as national tradition. Though prohibited under Islamic law, this practice was interpreted as a national tradition. From the above, it can implied that bride kidnapping was truly never been a tradition rather it is brought into existence during an attempt to reclaim the Kyrgyz identity.

Conclusion

Women were forced to marry without their consent based on a misconception that ‘bride kidnapping’ is a national tradition. This tradition was enforced utilizing the twin factors of honour and shame. Young women are coerced to give away their force based on a decision made by a complete stranger. This decision by a stranger impedes her development and autonomy of women. Around the world, women’s right to dignity and bodily integrity are restrained in the name of culture, with no choice left with her, except to accept her saddened fate. This misconception of ‘bride kidnapping’ as tradition must be disrupted to shift the discourse from tradition into a violation of women’s rights.

References

The opinions expressed in this article are those of the author (s). They do not purport to reflect the opinions or views of the Jindal Centre for the Global South or its members.

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